JhonRae's Blog

 What does it mean to be scared? The thought of losing loved ones. Making nearly impossible decisions. Being physically and mentally assaulted. Running from a home you built with someone. Telling a person, you respect and love that you’re pregnant. Having a miscarriage that almost killed you. Being diagnosed with a chronic condition(s). Finding what love means while keeping others at a distance. Trying to find yourself in a world you feel rejected by. Waking up knowing that you are a walking contradiction. Looking in the mirror to face unspoken truths. Learning to be brave.

  I am lost for words with too many racing thoughts. My mind keeps going back to the ER doctor telling me they found 1 inch mass in my left kidney. I think one of the worst part is coming home with no one to hold me and tell me they love me in a time when I feel the most vulnerable. I guess I deserve this. I do want to acknowledge I have good supportive friends but sometimes you just need more.