JhonRae's Blog

December 2025 can go F itself. I know that’s bold for me to say but it is my truth. I lost my Kitty on December 3 rd , a family friend on the 15 th and Christmas day brought my dad to the ER. December 2025 wasn’t so kind. Just before December I was planning on moving away to reboot and start over again. I planned on bringing my beloved Kitty with me. I had her over 10 years and she was the love of my life, and I cried for a few weeks. Then a family friend passed away and I went to honor them in the only way I knew how at the ICU days before they passed. I didn't have time to cry because I had to focus on packing and moving since it was already in the works before all of this.  When Christmas approached my dad called and appeared confused and told me he could barely walk. He was what is called acute kidney injury and was severely dehydrated. I remember while I was visiting him he teared up for the first time and asked me if Dee Dee was okay and expressed concern. I didn't tel...

 M, I wanted to write a thank you letter for all that you have done for me thus this far. You listened to me rant, cry, swear, and become extremely passionate and spicy about various topics. We weren’t fully able to process my past traumas due to current events in my life and that’s okay. I learned that if you are able to process current trauma (s) with someone safe and talk about it, it’s less impactful in the future. It doesn't make it any easier, but it is helpful long term. I am sure you already know this. Anyways, I wanted to take this opportunity to say thank you and acknowledge the type of therapist I see. I know most of the work is on me and not you. However, like I said, you were and are a safe person and that goes miles. Maybe about two but that’s about it. JK. M, you have and will continue to do amazing things for so many! Don’t let it get to your head! Always stay humble, curious, compassionate, and flexible with a hint of spicy. Like Jalapeno level spicy. Unless it...

 The past 3 years have been tough on me for various reasons that I seem I cannot shake. The two main topics is when I cheated and when my uncle Jerome passed away. I have realized these two events changed me in ways that I wish I could reverse. The cheating and Jerome’s passing have been unresolved issues for me despite the various times I tried to reconcile. I still feel like my nervous system is dysregulated more often than not. As I was listening to a podcast the other day this person quoted “you have to actively repair the threat associations that your brain has built up around each other. It takes both partners to acknowledge the specific wounds each partner has created without turning it into a blame system.” This resonated with me deeply. I realized that the lead up to the cheating, the cheating itself and Jerome’s passing are deep wounds that I carry around every day. As I was listening to the podcast it spoke about invalidation, unresolved conflicts, emotional withdraw...

  Critical thinking : Skillfully analyzing, evaluating, and synthesizing information to form a judgement or solve a problem. Logical thinking : Analyzing information, facts, and evidence to reach a conclusion and identifying cause and effect without emotions. Emotional thinking : Is based on a person’s feelings than objective facts. This can lead to biases, personal values and beliefs. Emotional intelligence : Ability to understand and manage own emotions, while recognizing how your emotions influence or affect others. Linear thinking: Step by step approach to problem solving where one idea logically leads to the next. Very structured, strait line, and follows a clear path that leads to an answer. Intelligence : Learn, understand, and reason quickly and effectively. Ability to adapt to new situations, solve problems, and make decisions. Traits (curiosity, critical thinking, self-awareness, and willingness to learn and revise beliefs.) Stupidity: Having or showing lac...

Forgiveness is about peace within yourself and reciliation is about healing the relationship. Forgiveness itself can’t heal a relationship. When someone has broken your trust in a large or small way over time forgiveness is a choice to cancel out the wound they have caused. It’s not about forgetting about the wound that was caused. It’s about a choice to not carry the bitterness, shame, and the weight of their actions. Reconciliation is about healing the relationship and granting that person access back into your life. Access has to be earned by rebuilding trust. It takes that person to understand how they have hurt you and get curious about your pain. They don’t just say “I’m sorry you got hurt’ they step into your perspective. The remorse and repair isn’t just with words but with consistent change in behavior. They validate your pain as real. When we try to reconcile with someone that has no interest in taking accountability or having curiosity, we feel even more abandoned than bef...

I haven't been feeling myself last couple of days. I am confident its the medication I am currently taking for my allergies. I pretty much missed my whole summer this year due to an intense allergy to a epileptic medication. I went back on steroids and still taking other allergy medication to help with the intense itching, burning, swelling and prickly sensation I'm having all over my body. I may feel better with my skin but of course I'm dealing with depression, weight gain, intense feeling of wanting to eat most of the time and lack of motivation. These are just some side effects of the steroid I'm taking. Now I've noticed my poor memory and headaches are coming back; one positive is that my headaches are not nearly as bad at least for now. I swear a unending list of issues the last couple of months. I'm trying to stay positive about my situation but it's hard too when you constantly feel drained due to all the changes in mood and the body. Anyways, I g...