Saw A Hummingbird and Thought of You

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I just saw a hummingbird at my window! I live in a big city and did not expect that, especially when no one is allowed any kind of bird feeders at my complex. That was amazing! The moment I saw it I thought of Brandon. I wanted to text/call him to tell him about it.

Yesterday was his birthday. I did text him because I wanted to honor the fact he didn’t want to celebrate or anything. I hope he did but part of me doubts it. Last time I saw him I could see defeat in his face. I wanted to hug all his pain away even though we separated and I have unresolved conflict.

He told me, “You know you love someone when they make you that upset.” Okay maybe not exact quote but I think I got the idea of it down. Anyways, I agree with that. I agree there is a lot of passion behind it all and I will always love him.

To be fully transparent I will never give up on him or walk away. I can only hope someday we can talk about my perception of unresolved conflicts and come to an understanding. Sometimes we just need to step away to reflect and find our own paths to discover who we are.

Anyways, I hope someday you will stumble across this, and know I think about you every day. Though Kitty is still at the fore front of my mind. Side note: a few weeks ago I was talking to my friend about Kitty. I looked at her and stated, “God I fucking loved that damn cat.” I find myself struggling to get another furry creature. I am the type of person that when I love something I fucking LOVE IT.

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