Self Doubt in the Context of Loss

By -

 The other day a friend and I were talking about grief, expressing how each of us has processed emotions pertaining to loss. They stated, “I wish I could have done more.” I without a second thought said, “you did what you knew and that’s everything.” As the day past, I realized it was so easy for me to give them more grace than what I could ever give myself.

I have been so hard on myself when it comes to all that I have lost throughout the years. I truly never gave myself as much love, compassion, empathy and grace for each of the losses I’ve experienced. I always had doubts that crept up taking away from the true authentic connection I had with each individual or creature. I was so focused on the “what if’s or could be’s.” I couldn’t see past the doubt to realize I did all that I knew in those moments and that was everything.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Unresolved Conflicts in the Context of a Relationship

By -
 The past 3 years have been tough on me for various reasons that I seem I cannot shake. The two main topics is when I cheated and when my uncle Jerome passed away. I have realized these two events changed me in ways that I wish I could reverse. The cheating and Jerome’s passing have been unresolved issues for me despite the various times I tried to reconcile. I still feel like my nervous system is dysregulated more often than not. As I was listening to a podcast the other day this person quoted “you have to actively repair the threat associations that your brain has built up around each other. It takes both partners to acknowledge the specific wounds each partner has created without turning it into a blame system.” This resonated with me deeply. I realized that the lead up to the cheating, the cheating itself and Jerome’s passing are deep wounds that I carry around every day. As I was listening to the podcast it spoke about invalidation, unresolved conflicts, emotional withdraw...
Read more

Absent father

By -
I thought for along time if I should even write to you. In my head I just wanted to lash out and tell you all the bad things you are to me; I won’t ever because I’m better than that. Rather I will explain to you that my success in life has nothing to do with you; never has or will.  I have grown in many aspects you will never have the pleasure to see or know. I surrounded my life with people that are caring, compassionate, loving and understanding. This was what I’ve been looking for since my mother passed away. I tried to find these characteristics in you that seem to be absent. I always wonder why their was so much hate in your heart? You’re the only one that can answer that and I am sure you’ll keep that to yourself to the day you die. I try to send hate the other way because all it does is cause harm to yourself or to others around you; but I suppose you don’t see that do you? Did you ever think at one point where your life was heading? Do you not care and stroll on by? When...
Read more

Dear self

By -
Don't forget to be compassionate for you're self, this world can be exhausting for one reason or another. It's okay to step back and take breaks if needed. Here are some things to keep in mind when you're feeling lost. Having compassion Being humble to self and others knowing you're human You are perfectly imperfect the way you are You have the power to define who you are and want to be Love you're self in the past, present and future Listen closely to what you are feeling and saying Hold you're hand as you would to ones that are closes to you Trust in what you are Lastly, but not least enjoy the gifts of life
Read more