A Dream Shared

By -

My eldest sister has been messaging me lately and I wanted to write about a dream she shared with me.

She told me “You showed up at my house. We hadn’t seen or talked in 10 years. So broken and lonely and scared. You came to me because mom had come to you in a dream and told you to go to your sister she has what you need. She has what your heart needs to heal. You guys need each other. And you came. I woke up right after that. With the urgency to text you. It may be just a dream but I needed to at least tell you are loved, beautiful, and you are not alone.”

I wrote this exactly how she messaged me because it’s something I don’t want to forget. Though my sister and I have had many differences and disagreements my heart is always with her. It’s frustrating because I get glimpse of my sister and then it goes away due to mental health or addiction. It’s a different kind of pain and loss when you watch some you love deeply come in and out of reality. I wish I could take all that away from her and I was strong enough to hold her tight instead of keeping my distance.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Unresolved Conflicts in the Context of a Relationship

By -
 The past 3 years have been tough on me for various reasons that I seem I cannot shake. The two main topics is when I cheated and when my uncle Jerome passed away. I have realized these two events changed me in ways that I wish I could reverse. The cheating and Jerome’s passing have been unresolved issues for me despite the various times I tried to reconcile. I still feel like my nervous system is dysregulated more often than not. As I was listening to a podcast the other day this person quoted “you have to actively repair the threat associations that your brain has built up around each other. It takes both partners to acknowledge the specific wounds each partner has created without turning it into a blame system.” This resonated with me deeply. I realized that the lead up to the cheating, the cheating itself and Jerome’s passing are deep wounds that I carry around every day. As I was listening to the podcast it spoke about invalidation, unresolved conflicts, emotional withdraw...
Read more

Dear self

By -
Don't forget to be compassionate for you're self, this world can be exhausting for one reason or another. It's okay to step back and take breaks if needed. Here are some things to keep in mind when you're feeling lost. Having compassion Being humble to self and others knowing you're human You are perfectly imperfect they way you are You have the power to define who you are and want to be Love you're self in the past, present and future Listen closely to what you are feeling and saying Hold you're hand as you would to ones that are closes to you Trust in what you are Lastly, but not least enjoy the gifts of life
Read more

Absent father

By -
I thought for along time if I should even write to you. In my head I just wanted to lash out and tell you all the bad things you are to me; I won’t ever because I’m better than that. Rather I will explain to you that my success in life has nothing to do with you; never has or will.  I have grown in many aspects you will never have the pleasure to see or know. I surrounded my life with people that are caring, compassionate, loving and understanding. This was what I’ve been looking for since my mother passed away. I tried to find these characteristics in you that seem to be absent. I always wonder why their was so much hate in your heart? You’re the only one that can answer that and I am sure you’ll keep that to yourself to the day you die. I try to send hate the other way because all it does is cause harm to yourself or to others around you; but I suppose you don’t see that do you? Did you ever think at one point where your life was heading? Do you not care and stroll on by? When...
Read more