The Complexities of Homelessness

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I went for a walk the other day and I saw an older gentleman experiencing homelessness crying on the side of the road. Admittingly I was going to keep walking but I decided to approach him. I asked if I could sit with him and we talked for over an hour. Jeff a 61-year-old man told me what was in his heart and what was eating at him. As I was listening to him, I could see the immense pain and anger he felt.

Jeff told me “It’s brave of you to come talk to me. Most people wouldn’t.” You know he is right, not a lot of people would. Which is unfortunate. Just because we don’t know someone doesn’t mean they don’t deserve to have community and to be acknowledged. He deserves to be seen even if his reality is different than mine.

It’s unfortunate that there is a lot of misunderstanding of why someone is experiencing homelessness. Jeff is struggling with addiction, trauma, and psychosis of some sort. During our conversation I could hear the inconsistency, paranoia, and delusions he was experiencing. All so real to him that it caused distress.

You know I often think of my uncle. He struggled with schizophrenia and at one point he told me he wanted to be homeless. Thankfully, I was able to listen and talk to him about it. Even though I didn’t understand fully why he was thinking about it back then I realize now. I think he just wanted to give up on everything because he wanted to be in control. I know that sounds strange without context. My uncle was actively dying of lung cancer, and I think he probably felt a sense of losing control. He also had so many social workers and people helping him throughout his life. What made sense to him at that moment was to give up everything.

I am grateful that I had the honor to be his niece and someone he trusted because he could have very well been another individual lost to the streets. A good man that was giving, caring, loving, compassionate and absolutely goofy. A stranger wouldn’t have seen any of those qualities.

So, when you pass by someone that is experiencing homelessness try to see beyond what is in front of you and stay curious.

 

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