Seen and Valued.

 I was asked what makes me feel seen and valued? I told them I needed to reflect on that question.

I think I needed to hold space for myself given all that has happened throughout my life. As I reflected on the question I realized I feel seen when someone takes initiative to remember the things that are important to me (even if they don’t like it). Acknowledging my experiences even if they can’t feel or see it themselves. Sometimes we tend to invalidate others because we don’t understand their mental, physical and spiritual wellbeing. Especially, if it’s something you never came across or even experienced.

I wrote once, “it’s easier to say hurtful things to someone/something you don’t like. I haven’t liked myself in a long time for various reasons. I never befriended myself.” So, if I can invalidate and hide myself from the world wouldn’t it be easy for a friend, family member or stranger to do it just as easy?

So, I guess what I am saying is that there isn’t a simple answer to it because I have invalidated and tried to hide myself in various ways for so long. Currently, I am trying to find who I am, what I want, what I need not just from others but from myself. Especially, myself. I think I am doing a C- job. As I told a friend today “it’s not like we are born with a manual of how to be human so give yourself grace.” I need to take my own words and apply it to myself as well.