Manipulation and Gaslighting

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If you can’t convince, then confuse.

It wasn’t just being defensive or having a disagreement. It was consistent with gaslighting and emotional manipulation. Denying things said is classic; it’s not unique to you. Trying to manipulate the situation by trying to shift responsibility and interpretation of events. I see weakness growing.

Deflection and blame-shifting.

You couldn’t stay with the issue; you were uncomfortable and redirected the conversation to something you perceived that I did wrong. You deflected. It turned into blame-shifting when the original concern gets lost in the role reversal.

Taking control of the conversation.

I asked questions and it poked at your fragile ego. You tried to take control of a narrative that never existed. I feel your embarrassment. You wouldn’t give me time to reflect or answer; a tactic to confuse and control. Of course, I couldn’t keep up but doesn’t mean I wasn’t aware. You have nothing more to say.

Retaliation to distort reality.

I heard you, I know what you said. To try to distort my reality and tell me that “I can’t control what you hear” is highly concerning. It makes most people question their reality and make them think they did something wrong. Have you heard of DARVO? Deny, attack, reverse victim and offender. I am not oblivious.

Why did I end up confused?

The conversation repeatedly involved interruptions, denial, deflection, accusations, and changing explanations, my attention was pulled in multiple directions. I wasn’t able to focus on the original concern because I was then suddenly trying to remember what happened, correct you're version of events, defend myself against unrelated accusations, respond to new questions that had nothing to do with the situation and try to justify my feelings while you were controlling and distorting reality.

Setting boundaries is my strength.

I try to give benefit of doubt but quickly my intuition proves differently. I don’t need to prove you dismissed my feelings, redirected the conversation, challenged recollection of events, denied hurtful statements, and changed the narrative. I don’t need to prove you were intentionally gaslighting me to decide your behavior is unhealthy and unsafe to be around. I also don’t need your approval or agreement in order to decide what happened and to say I no longer want to participate in these types of interactions.

History prepared me for you.

My history is filled with echoes of manipulation and gaslighting. Again, you’re nothing unique or special. Does that hurt you? Are you mad that I didn’t take? I think your ego is bruised, you should get that checked out. I hold my own weight even when I fall. I get right back up despite individuals like you. My past prepared me for these very moments while you came unprepared.

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