Keep on keeping on
Today I saw my counselor and of course I talked passed the usually time. To be honest I think she lets me ramble on about whats in my heart, if she didn't I just might explode 😉. Right now I feel emotional because of the realization that I am unable to hear my mothers replies. You know losing a loved one never gets easy but the only thing that changes is how you choose to cope with it. I choose to say see you later and we will catch up in the next life instead of saying goodbye. Saying goodbye is to official for me and to be honest I will never be ready to say it to her even after all these years.
So, the next best thing is to keep on keeping on for her and of course myself. I strive everyday to live my life to the fullest I deserve and to what she would be proud of. What it means to keep moving on is to know what I see isn't the full picture and that I will keep faith that there is more to life itself. We tend to forget we are not the center of the universe and there is more then what we experience; and so here I am coping with what was dealt to me with faith it will be okay.
To a mother I can't hear,
Thank you for all that you given me in the little time we had together, you lived up to you're title of being my mother. You may have not felt that way when you were in this world but I hope you see that now. I want you to know I celebrate the life you gave to me, as you inspire me to live to the fullest. You have changed my life for the good and I thank you for that. Mom, you're smile and sense of humor is imprinted in my mind like a stamp that will never truly fade. I choose to remember all that you were and wanted to be. I hope some day I can make the same impact on someone as you did for me; I can only have faith that I will. Mom there is a request if you hear me, please watch over my sisters as they struggle. They may not think I notice there pain in their eyes but I do, I see it. I see the internal struggle of finding themselves in this world. I want them to know they are more than what others say or do to them. It's hard to see how worthy you are when others treat you like you're not, but lets remember this:
Rejection doesn't mean you're not good enough but rather that person just wasn't able to see you're potential.
So, the next best thing is to keep on keeping on for her and of course myself. I strive everyday to live my life to the fullest I deserve and to what she would be proud of. What it means to keep moving on is to know what I see isn't the full picture and that I will keep faith that there is more to life itself. We tend to forget we are not the center of the universe and there is more then what we experience; and so here I am coping with what was dealt to me with faith it will be okay.
To a mother I can't hear,
Thank you for all that you given me in the little time we had together, you lived up to you're title of being my mother. You may have not felt that way when you were in this world but I hope you see that now. I want you to know I celebrate the life you gave to me, as you inspire me to live to the fullest. You have changed my life for the good and I thank you for that. Mom, you're smile and sense of humor is imprinted in my mind like a stamp that will never truly fade. I choose to remember all that you were and wanted to be. I hope some day I can make the same impact on someone as you did for me; I can only have faith that I will. Mom there is a request if you hear me, please watch over my sisters as they struggle. They may not think I notice there pain in their eyes but I do, I see it. I see the internal struggle of finding themselves in this world. I want them to know they are more than what others say or do to them. It's hard to see how worthy you are when others treat you like you're not, but lets remember this:
Rejection doesn't mean you're not good enough but rather that person just wasn't able to see you're potential.
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