Am I smart?

 

Critical thinking: Skillfully analyzing, evaluating, and synthesizing information to form a judgement or solve a problem.

Logical thinking: Analyzing information, facts, and evidence to reach a conclusion and identifying cause and effect without emotions.

Emotional thinking: Is based on a person’s feelings than objective facts. This can lead to biases, personal values and beliefs.

Emotional intelligence: Ability to understand and manage own emotions, while recognizing how your emotions influence or affect others.

Linear thinking: Step by step approach to problem solving where one idea logically leads to the next. Very structured, strait line, and follows a clear path that leads to an answer.

Intelligence: Learn, understand, and reason quickly and effectively. Ability to adapt to new situations, solve problems, and make decisions. Traits (curiosity, critical thinking, self-awareness, and willingness to learn and revise beliefs.)

Stupidity: Having or showing lack of intelligence or common sense.

As I reflect on these definitions that were given to me by google and personal experience, I find myself in a conflict. Growing up I knew for a fact I wasn’t the smartest kid in the room. I came to this conclusion due to my environment, comments, lack of acknowledgement and personal biases on what intelligence meant. I was only taught to be dumb because of other’s assumptions about me. It’s ironic actually. The people that thought they were “smart” didn’t critically think about my environment, my trauma, or even take a deep dive into how my brain really works. They didn’t adapt to me, but I adapted to them with their beliefs and assumptions about who I am and who I was going to be. My conflict lies with carrying the weight of what societal definition is on intelligence. Holding on to other’s perceptions of me and being misunderstood more often than not.

I acknowledge that it will take me time to stop saying or questioning if I am dumb/stupid given my circumstances. However, it doesn’t mean that it dawns on me that I am a critical thinker and that I do have a pretty big band width when it comes to emotional intelligence. It’s like asking me to stop swearing right now. Bitch please.