Qualities

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To build a healthy foundation for any relationship such as family, friends or romance you need open communication, trust, mutual respect and the ability to build emotional safety.

Open communication is about sharing thoughts and feelings without the fear of judgement. Trust is to have faith that individual is honest and sincere with their intentions and has your back. Mutual respect is setting boundaries, supporting each other’s opinions and perspectives while honoring and working through differences. Emotional safety is becoming vulnerable by opening up about fears, mistakes, rejection, judgement, stigma, and past hurt.

As I continuously reflect on who I am and what I want in life I realize I don’t always apply these qualities to myself. I’ve lost faith in who I want to be. Lost trust in my abilities to overcome certain challenges. Rejecting different aspects of myself, and judging my past, present and future self. All parts of self-doubt that can be all consuming. I haven’t built emotional safety because of self-doubt. Always second-guessing who I am, uncertain with choices I’ve made and feeling like I am an imposter just trying to get by.

Self-doubt didn’t come within me but rather from continuous outside messages that I have received through family, friends, ex-partners, social media, and overall society. Though self-doubt is about uncertainty regarding personal abilities, decisions or actions they are outside voices that I accumulated along the way and made them my own beliefs.

This is where resiliency, radical acceptance, patience, compassion and introspection contend with self-doubt. Resiliency is having the capacity to bounce back from tough times and major life changes. Radical acceptance is accepting reality for what it is. Patience gives you permission to evolve without time restraint. Compassion is having a deep understanding and awareness of suffrage while wanting to relieve it. Introspection is actively examining conscious thoughts, feelings and emotions.

I am learning to build a healthier relationship with all the different parts of myself. I hope you are able to do the same.

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