Visitation

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I’ve been struggling for months now and last night I had my cat Kitty visit me in my dream. She laid right next to me and we cuddled. I could hear, feel and smell her like she was next to me. I just sobbed while holding her and then I woke up with tears running down my face. I like to believe she came to comfort me in a time that I’ve been struggling with suicidal ideation.

Also, the last few days prior to the dream I’ve had other things that could have been a sign that even my mom is telling me she is with me. Friday, Kiss from a Rose was the first song that played when I got home. Then Saturday I was at a restaurant in such a bad mood, but someone kept calling the name Linda. Linda was my mother’s name.

Admittingly, I have been struggling with darker thoughts that seem to consume me more and more. I like to believe these are signs to let me know to keep moving on and don’t give up. I don’t understand what lessons I am supposed to learn in all this. I feel every emotion possible all at once.

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