To My Eldest Sister

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Today my eldest sister reached out to me, and I didn’t hesitate to be there. We spoke for four long but good hours over the phone. I noticed a few changes in her that makes me so proud. She acknowledged the hurt she caused without me asking her to. Then she said “I am unstable and I can’t promise if I step out of line at times, but I would like you to tell me nicely when I do. It may take me time to realize it.” That is mothering fucking growth that I knew she was capable of!

She's been sober for a few years now and realizes if she even drinks one beer she doesn’t feel right. It sounds to me she is finally working on herself despite health complications she's going through. She has continuously been in therapy for some time, and it sounds like she isn’t quitting on herself. I am so proud of her even if she doesn’t feel great right now. I had the privilege and honor to hear my sister again for who I always hoped and knew she could be.

I know it’s going to be a bit chaotic re-connecting with her but all I needed is acknowledgment and accountability. She gave me that gift and I accept that with all my heart.

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