A Lonely Journey

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Have you ever felt like no matter where you go and who you meet, you just don’t belong? I feel that nearly every day. My friend Daniel asked me the other day “why are you so kind? You had such a hard life.” I responded by saying “I must be crazy.” Then I asked him the same question and he said, “it’s easy to be mean but it’s harder to be kind.” As I sit here crying and reflecting on what he said, he is right, it’s easy to be mean and it takes so much effort to be kind in a world that is so harsh. All I ever wanted was to be loved as I have tried to love others.

I’m starting to believe I am not worth loving. When people come across me all they see is a broken woman. Not denying that I had a good share of hurt but I like to think I have things to offer and that maybe someone would think I am worth the time and investment. Whether it’s family, friends, neighbors, places of work or romantically. So, I guess for anyone feeling alone in a world that keeps trying to take you down; you’re not alone because I am walking that very cold and lonely path with memories of my past beside me.

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